maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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