Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize