I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
