I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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