i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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