Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
