There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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