I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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