It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
