I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
