its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
