I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
