I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
