i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
