i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
