Nicole vs. Life
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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