just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
