Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
