Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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