Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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