Need sex. Gaining weight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
