I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
