I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
