are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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