I must be too annoying 4 u.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
