When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
