Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize