Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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