I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
