we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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