69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
