i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
