WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wow bdsm is so cute
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