the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
