gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
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