THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
