I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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