Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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