Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I just put wine in my tea
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize