2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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