i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
