1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you never un-have a 4some
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
