dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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