im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
