sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
