My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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