i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
