my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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