I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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