So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
