ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
