glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
