The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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