Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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