went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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