Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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