I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
