This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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