He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
