You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
