I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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