Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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