drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize