On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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