Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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