the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
