How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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