fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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