love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
