Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
