I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
where are my eyebrows?
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