singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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