is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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